I have been all gloom and doom lately. So much so that I failed to mention that 2 short weeks ago I was able to mark something off of my ever expanding bucket list. I saw Van Halen in concert with David Lee Roth. That happened to be on my list for years, and I did it!
As we go into summer, I am going to sit down and do a real bucket list. All those things that I want to do before I kick the bucket. No, my cancer diagnosis is not the inspiration for this. I have always had an informal, ongoing list of things that I want to do before I go.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
I'm So Tired
In order for the RAI to really work I have to go into a state of hypothyroidism. When I was given this news, I thought, oh well, so 4 weeks will be tired. Small price to pay for a cure. I take that back! I am into week 2 of not having a thyroid while not taking any supplementation for that missing thyroid. I am in hell! I have never, not ever felt this way before. I am tired, but can't sleep at night. My muscles ache, I am depressed, I am gaining weight, I am cold, I am pissed!
I am too tired to get out of bed to walk my daughter to the bus in the morning, finite days that she wants to be with me are slipping away. I spent Memorial Day weekend in the a daze, trying to be normal for everyone's benefit because I feel guilty if I don't. I lay in bed at night with my legs twitching because i suddenly have restless leg syndrome. I wake up every hour, on the hour for some unknown reason. I thought I was at least going to catch up on some sleep during this. I am wallowing in self pity, which makes me angry at myself, because I am lucky to have a cancer with a cure. I should be happy, but I am not happy.
I want my life back. I want my thyroid back. I want my job back.
I am too tired to get out of bed to walk my daughter to the bus in the morning, finite days that she wants to be with me are slipping away. I spent Memorial Day weekend in the a daze, trying to be normal for everyone's benefit because I feel guilty if I don't. I lay in bed at night with my legs twitching because i suddenly have restless leg syndrome. I wake up every hour, on the hour for some unknown reason. I thought I was at least going to catch up on some sleep during this. I am wallowing in self pity, which makes me angry at myself, because I am lucky to have a cancer with a cure. I should be happy, but I am not happy.
I want my life back. I want my thyroid back. I want my job back.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Back to the Frugal Grindstone
Being out of work, all be it temporary, has brought my frugality back to the surface. I will be honest, the last year of a second income was nice. Really nice. So nice, that I often sacrificed what I believed in, finding the best price, for convenience. How easy it is to buy prechopped vegetables or eat lunch out more than I should. But, until at least July, no paycheck for me. With that, I am back to coupon clipping, receipt checking and buying on sale. Here is a list of the things I did this week in an effort to be frugal.
1. Used Justice coupons with 40% off to buy $80 worth of pajamas for $28.00.
2. Took my girls out for ice cream, used a 50% of coupon
3. Drove very, very little. I haven't driving much at all in fact. Hypothyroidism will do that to you.
4. Made major changes to our auto insurance, saving us $173/6 months.
5. Changed our gym membership from family to individual
6. Will stay home tonight and watch a movie at home instead of going to the theatre.
7. REALLY analyzed our energy bill and figured our where we need to cut back.
8. Paid off the credit card ( I do that every month, but that counts)
9. Order a free sample of K-cups for our coffee maker
10. Returned stuff to Bath and Body Works that I didn't need.
I figure this week I saved us $400. Not too shabby. What can I do next week?
1. Used Justice coupons with 40% off to buy $80 worth of pajamas for $28.00.
2. Took my girls out for ice cream, used a 50% of coupon
3. Drove very, very little. I haven't driving much at all in fact. Hypothyroidism will do that to you.
4. Made major changes to our auto insurance, saving us $173/6 months.
5. Changed our gym membership from family to individual
6. Will stay home tonight and watch a movie at home instead of going to the theatre.
7. REALLY analyzed our energy bill and figured our where we need to cut back.
8. Paid off the credit card ( I do that every month, but that counts)
9. Order a free sample of K-cups for our coffee maker
10. Returned stuff to Bath and Body Works that I didn't need.
I figure this week I saved us $400. Not too shabby. What can I do next week?
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