Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I'm Back......

For now that is. Today is one of those absolutely beautiful, Autumn days that the Midwest is famous for. So, on this day, I decided that working from home would be a good choice. My job requires a lot of marketing that needs to be done from my home and neighborhood. Life is good.

So much has happened since I last blogged. I don't even know what day of the year it is, 200 and something. I lost track, and regret that. But, I will set that aside and fill my 3 readers in on what has happened since I last wrote.

First, we have an exchange student from Spain. She will be with us for an entire year. She is wonderful and charming and a great addition to our family. We have all had to adjust, some more than others, but I think it the end it will be a great experience for all of us. I am saddened that my daughter Hannah is having a hard time adjusting. She misses having her own room, she is allowing that to get in the way of enjoying the older sister that she will only have for 1 short year. I am hopeful that maturity will bring her to reality sooner rather than later. I love her so much and hate seeing her sad. But, I also feel some frustration that her 12 year old self is making decisions that her 18 year old self will regret.

I continue to work. My hours are long some days, and short on others. I am self employed, meaning that I am only as successful as I allow myself to be. I have a quota, which is forever looming over me. I have days of fear that I will never make it. More times than not, the next day I will make a big sale that makes me feel at peace. I wonder if I will ever be fully confident in my abilities. I need to be, for myself and for my daughters. They need to see their mother successful in her chosen career. I need be successful for me, so that I can myself successful in my chose career. I fear failure, I always have. By doing this, I am facing my greatest fear everyday that I continue and don't give up. Some days are certainly easier than others.

My husband continues to work. This year, he added the role of U10 Girls Soccer coach to his already full resume. The man works harder than anyone I know, or will ever know. Still, he finds the time to coach his daughter and her team of 9 year old girls. Clearly, he has the patience of a saint. I can confidently say that I would never be able to deal with that many little girls on a soccer field. Yet, he does it.

The days continue to fly by. I wonder where the time goes at the same time feeling frustration that every day is exactly the same routine. Maybe a mid life crisis? Who knows. I feel happy and content, but wish I could add something to the day to day routine that would add something else. I just don't know what that something is. Ideas?