Wednesday, August 11, 2010

No, I haven't posted in quite some time. The last week was busy with my husband and kids, making even a few minutes to blog seem impossible. But, now at 5:53 am I find some time to myself. Thanks to my 12 year old son who woke me up at 3:45am for advil, my husband kindly got up to get it for him, but I never fell back to sleep. Even as a preteen, kids can still be known to wake us up in the middle night, the occasions are rare, but still occur. This brings me to today's blog, someday I will have an empty nest and I got a sneak preview of that future last week.

Last week my husband and I sent all of our children to a week of summer camp. I have been a parent for nearly 13 years, so a week without children in the house seemed very unfamiliar to me. We have had times when we got a night, maybe 2 nights alone, but never a week. I wondered how I would deal with them not being here. I learned a few things about myself and how I will deal with my empty nest, which is still a decade a way, but we all know how quickly time goes by, so I was willing to think about it.

First thing I learned, they will survive when they fly away. The fact that I have 3 children who went to camp for a week without one of them having a terrible case of homesickness means that I am doing something right. They have the self confidence to leave us, 2 without a friend at the camp, and make new friends. They had each other of course in case of an emergency, but they were with their own cabin groups. Making friends, having fun and not needing me to get them through the day. My husband and I helped to build that independence that will allow them to live as confident adults.

The second thing I learned, I will survive. Yes, I missed them dearly, so did my husband. But, I realized that I did have a life before kids. My husband and I were married for 3 years before our first was born. We used to do things that I forgot about. We would eat dinner when we wanted to, watch movies that were not always family friendly, we used to spend hours at the bookstore just browsing and we would sleep until we woke up on the weekends. As the kids are growing up, we are starting to do these things again, but not often. I learned in that week, that I still like the freedom I used to have. Don't get me wrong, I would not change the last 13 years for anything, but I have learned that a part of me misses my old lifestyle.

The third thing I learned, my husband and I should probably focus more on us as a couple before the last one flies the coop. We had a great time together, but I fear that someday, when the kids are gone we may wonder if we still know one another the way did before we had kids. I hear about it so often, the kids leave and you look at your spouse and wonder who they are. I don't want that to happen. Lately our days revolve around transporting them for one location to the next, yesterday's transportation schedule was unlike anything we have ever had to manage. I don't think Eric and said 2 words to each other yesterday that were not somehow related to the kids day, and it is summer. What will fall bring?

The fourth thing I learned last week was that it really is a lot cheaper to feed two adults without preteens in the house. We didn't need to go to the grocery store to replenish the constant consumption of snack foods that 12 year old boys seems to need to continue growing. It should be pretty easy to practice frugality when we are alone in this house.

The fifth thing I learned is that I REALLY like having a clean house. I need to insist that the kids help me more in acquiring that. Given how much we do for our kids, asking them for more help to keep their home clean is not asking too much.

I learned a lot more than I can write down in a short time on a Wednesday morning. But I guess the important message is that when I have an empty nest, life will go on. It will be different, it will be an adventure and it will continue.

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