In order for the RAI to really work I have to go into a state of hypothyroidism. When I was given this news, I thought, oh well, so 4 weeks will be tired. Small price to pay for a cure. I take that back! I am into week 2 of not having a thyroid while not taking any supplementation for that missing thyroid. I am in hell! I have never, not ever felt this way before. I am tired, but can't sleep at night. My muscles ache, I am depressed, I am gaining weight, I am cold, I am pissed!
I am too tired to get out of bed to walk my daughter to the bus in the morning, finite days that she wants to be with me are slipping away. I spent Memorial Day weekend in the a daze, trying to be normal for everyone's benefit because I feel guilty if I don't. I lay in bed at night with my legs twitching because i suddenly have restless leg syndrome. I wake up every hour, on the hour for some unknown reason. I thought I was at least going to catch up on some sleep during this. I am wallowing in self pity, which makes me angry at myself, because I am lucky to have a cancer with a cure. I should be happy, but I am not happy.
I want my life back. I want my thyroid back. I want my job back.