Bad News

It is 1:00 in the morning and I find myself doing something I never do, sit in front of the computer in the middle of the night. Tonight, I got news that nobody ever wants to hear. Three simple words that will change your life and perspective "you have cancer". Wow! I really never thought that I would be that person. Cancer happens to everyone else, not me.

From what my doctor said, I have a treatable form. Thyroid cancer which is very treatable. My doctor seems to think that I will be treated and have a full recovery. This of course makes me feel better. But, it doesn't lessen the blow of "you have cancer". I am sitting here this evening, terrified that I might not fall in the majority on this one. That maybe mine won't be treatable.

I have been reading every site I can find tonight on this cancer. It is unanimous, it's treatable and I will in all likelihood be fine. I pray that is the case, that one little cell won't break free and go somewhere else in my body where it can multiply. I hope that I will have a simple surgery and the radioactive iodine I am reading so much about now and I will cured. That has to be the ending to this little hiccup in my story. I still have so much to do and so much to see.

I'm Back......

For now that is. Today is one of those absolutely beautiful, Autumn days that the Midwest is famous for. So, on this day, I decided that working from home would be a good choice. My job requires a lot of marketing that needs to be done from my home and neighborhood. Life is good.

So much has happened since I last blogged. I don't even know what day of the year it is, 200 and something. I lost track, and regret that. But, I will set that aside and fill my 3 readers in on what has happened since I last wrote.

First, we have an exchange student from Spain. She will be with us for an entire year. She is wonderful and charming and a great addition to our family. We have all had to adjust, some more than others, but I think it the end it will be a great experience for all of us. I am saddened that my daughter Hannah is having a hard time adjusting. She misses having her own room, she is allowing that to get in the way of enjoying the older sister that she will only have for 1 short year. I am hopeful that maturity will bring her to reality sooner rather than later. I love her so much and hate seeing her sad. But, I also feel some frustration that her 12 year old self is making decisions that her 18 year old self will regret.

I continue to work. My hours are long some days, and short on others. I am self employed, meaning that I am only as successful as I allow myself to be. I have a quota, which is forever looming over me. I have days of fear that I will never make it. More times than not, the next day I will make a big sale that makes me feel at peace. I wonder if I will ever be fully confident in my abilities. I need to be, for myself and for my daughters. They need to see their mother successful in her chosen career. I need be successful for me, so that I can myself successful in my chose career. I fear failure, I always have. By doing this, I am facing my greatest fear everyday that I continue and don't give up. Some days are certainly easier than others.

My husband continues to work. This year, he added the role of U10 Girls Soccer coach to his already full resume. The man works harder than anyone I know, or will ever know. Still, he finds the time to coach his daughter and her team of 9 year old girls. Clearly, he has the patience of a saint. I can confidently say that I would never be able to deal with that many little girls on a soccer field. Yet, he does it.

The days continue to fly by. I wonder where the time goes at the same time feeling frustration that every day is exactly the same routine. Maybe a mid life crisis? Who knows. I feel happy and content, but wish I could add something to the day to day routine that would add something else. I just don't know what that something is. Ideas?

Days 205-224 Letting It Go

When I started doing this blog in January, I was determined to stick to it every day, not matter what! Clearly, I have not been able to stick to that the last several weeks. I wonder, is it summer? Or, is it my job? Is it because I am no longer committed to writing?

I believe that my excuse lies in the fact that I am just beat at the end of every day and have yet to organize my schedule in such a way that I can squeeze writing in when I have a spare moment. My goal for this weekend, is that I am going to sit down with a calendar, my priorities written out and my commitments listed so that I can find time each day for the things that matter to me.

Day 199 - Day 204 Update

I have decided that for the time being, I will be blogging once a week with an update of what I did to be healthier. I hope that as I get used to work, my new schedule and organize my life more, I will have time for daily blogging. But, the truth is, that right now I just don't. I easily work 40+ hours every week, by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is get on the computer. So, this is another choice I have made to be happier. Here is a recap of what I did this week:

Sunday, Day 199 - We dropped our 2 oldest off at summer camp. I love them more than anything. But, absence makes the heart grow fonder. A week of vacation was a lot of togetherness, we all needed a separation.

Monday, Day 200 - Hydrate! It was a heat wave this week. Wow, I cannot believe how hot it really was. My best defense was to keep a bottle of water with me and keep myself hydrated. It made all the difference.

Tuesday, Day 201 - Revisit my plan to have a salad every day. Since I am doing a weekly recap, I can say that I had a salad 3 out of the 5 days. Not too bad, but it could be better.

Wednesday, Day 202 - Stay inside. Again, the heat was unbearable. We stayed inside all day, keeping cool. Wednesday was the hottest day in Milwaukee since 1995!

Thursday, Day 203 - Clean my desk. I have been employed for 7 weeks and my desk was already a disaster. I took 30 minutes before I left yesterday and cleaned it. What a difference.

Friday, Day 204 - We have a nice sun room that we never use. This morning I woke up at 5:30, made myself some coffee and took the paper out to the sun room. I have not done that in years! I am going to make a real effort to that more often. It made me very happy.

I am also going to try to start trying to keep up with the frugal things I have done all week. I used to do that when I started this blog. So, here is my weekly list of frugal acts.

Sunday - Resisted the urge to eat dinner out after dropping the kids off 3 hours away from home.

Monday - Kept the curtains closed to keep the house cool during this very warm week.

Tuesday - Left overs for dinner. Need I say more. It was easy, cheap and the house stayed cool because I did not have to turn on the oven.

Wednesday - Shop the freezer. I am trying not to go to the grocery store for a lot of stuff. We have a lot of meat in the freezer. I found some pork stew meat, I put it in the crock pot, covered it with BBQ sauce and made pulled pork for sandwiches. It was delicious.

Thursday - My husband will love this one. I visited my friends at Yankee Candle and found a candle that I wanted. I did not buy it. I walked away without buying anything.

Friday - Washing the laundry in cold water today.

Day 198 - Get Back On Track

While taking a vacation is a wonderful way to regroup, it can make one take a few steps back in regards to health. The last 10 days of fun created an environment that made it difficult to keep up with the changes that I have made in my life. Here is a list of the things I need to do to get back on track, I have written blogs about these things.

1. Exercise. I like to think that sitting by the pool counts as swimming, but it doesn't.

2. Eat healthy. Hmmmm.....this one is really off track. I need to reintroduce myself to the vegetable family.

3. Eat less red meat. Did I mention I ate bar b que, and hamburgers and steak and probably an entire cow!

4. Drink red wine in moderation. Does drinking tequila in "vacation mode" moderation count?

5. Strength train. There was no strength training on this vacation

6. Enjoy music that I love. Two words: Katy Perry. Time to get back to the music I love

7. Drink 64 oz of water per day. I was good about this one, the Arizona sun makes this mandatory.

8. Get 8 hours of sleep per night. Need I say more?

9. Drink Pomegranate juice. Nope, didn't drink a drop of it, but I did drink Margarita mix.

10. Take a daily vitamin. I skipped this one because of airline security.

My list goes on and on. I REALLY fell off the wagon and need to get back on tomorrow. Sunday is the day that my weight watchers app defaults to, so it seems like a perfect day to start. Wish me luck.

Days 187 to 197 - Enjoy My Vacation

Today I am back from vacation. It was a great week the family and while I planned on blogging during my vacation, I decided that the blog would be work. Since I was on vacation, I decided that it was OK if I did not blog. So, instead I will catch up tonight.

What did I do on my vacation? I did a lot, while doing very little. Isn't that the point to vacation after all?

First thing I did to kick off my time off was taking my daughter to see Katy Perry at Summerfest. The concert was surprisingly very good. As a 40 year old mother, I have a hard time finding the merit in her music. But, she put on a great show. She seems to have talent that does not require auto tuner to make her music tolerable. She also seems like a genuinely nice person. Sometimes it is very hard to tell if celebrities are kind at heart. Based on her performance and invitation to have fans join her on stage, I would argue that she seems like a nice person.

Our vacation took us to Arizona. What is the first thing we think of when hearing Arizona? The Grand Canyon! Seeing The Grand Canyon is a wonder that has been on my bucket list for years. I always knew that I wanted to see the Canyon before I die. I saw it and believe that it was worth the trip across the country. WOW! To those who have not seen it, please make it a priority. To say it is beautiful is an understatement. I have yet to find an adjective that gives the canyon justice.

The drive from Scottsdale (where we were staying) to the Grand Canyon gave us hours of beautiful scenery that I have never seen. Sedona is almost as beautiful as the Grand Canyon. The mountains are unbelievable and the fact that you are in the desert one minute sweating and in the mountains cold the next minute is just weird! I know that is how our wonderful ecosystem works, but I still find it crazy.

I read, a lot. In fact, I read 3 novels while I was on vacation. I loved every minute of reading I was able to do. For those who know me well, you know that reading is my first love. Being a wife and mother makes it hard to get all the reading in that I would love to do. This vacation provided me some much needed reading time. I wish I could say that all the books were book club worthy, but I did read a sappy Nicholas Sparks book that I enjoyed. However, I will be the first to admit that his books are predictable and corny to say the least.

We sat my the pool, for hours and hours! The kids swam to their hearts content. They played together, well most of the time in the pool. They acted like kids without the fear of their friends finding out that they were acting "weird" as my middle child stated. They smiled and laughed. It was a joy to see.

I ate southwestern food that was delicious! Bar-b-que sandwiches at a restaurant in Sedona proved to be the best sandwiches I have had in a very long time. We also went to a pizza place in Phoenix called Pizzeria Bianco. We had heard from the Food Network that it was the best pizza in America. I have not tasted every pizza in America, but I would agree that it was damn good pizza!

I drank Margaritas every night. Normally, I do not drink Tequila. But, while on vacation in the southwest, I decided that it was okay to partake in moderation, which is what I did. They were delicious and felt very appropriate.

I met a long lost cousin who I had never met. I have been in touch with her for years, but we had never met face to face. She proved to be as nice and personable as I had suspected. I hope that it will be the beginning of a family relationship that neither one of us had ever had.

Finally, we came home. As we all know, the best part of a really good vacation is coming home.

On Vacation- will update when i return