Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sigh! My kids are getting older!

Tonight I went to Middle School orientation at the school my son will be going to in the fall.  Yes, yes I talk about how fast the kids are growing up.  I am well aware of how quickly it all goes by. Today it hit me especially hard though.  I don't know why?  I can guess that it is because I was anticipating the orientation that I needed to go to this evening.

Alec is my oldest.  It feels like his entrance into middle school signifies to me that we are leaving behind his childhood and entering the unknown world of adolescence.  We see signs of puberty rearing it's ugly head occasionally.  An eye roll or an attempt to swear by saying "Oh Crap!" is not uncommon.  He is testing his limits and proving to us all that he will eventually become a sullen teenager.  But, 90% of the time, he is still a little kid.  He hugs me, he likes me to read to him sometimes, I find him playing with action figures (friends of mine, don't tell your children that please) and he still likes to watch cartoons.  He is still a little kid.  Will his entrance into middle school rob me of my little boy?   I think so, and that is normal and fine.  I will be okay when the time comes.  I just wish that I had a little more time with him as a little kid.  I am finding that it may be harder for me to let go than I had previously believed.

Upon further reflection though I know what else is bothering me.  My children are getting older and they are taking me with them!  Yes, I am getting older too.  No, I am not old.  I am only 38, but the years are rolling by and having children really makes those years roll by faster. It is getting harder to take off the extra baby weight (okay, she is not a baby, after 7 years I should just call it fat)  Sometimes I look at old pictures off all 3 of my children, the event I maybe looking at might be 4 or 5 years old, but it seems like last week.  

I guess I have to ask myself, what is the issue I have with my son going to middle school?  My children getting older or me getting older?  I guess it is probably both and that is fine.  Better yet, maybe I am in the throws of a major mid life crisis?  What I do know is that I had better get a handle on my emotions before September 2.  I have been put on notice, I will not be walking Alec to the bus on the first day of school.  No exceptions.  I have to ask the other moms out there this question though.  Is it okay to spy on him from the end of the drive way that first day?  I have 4 months to figure out the answer to that question.

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