Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Day 54 - It Is Ok To Block Toxicity

This is a very strange title, I know that. But, in the day and age of emails, text messages and facebook, anybody can get into our personal space and cause toxicity in our lives. I am willing to bet that most of us have had this happen.

In recent months I have had to block a person from my email. This is a person who I care about very much and was stressed about making such a move. But, I felt like I had no choice but to block this particular person's access to my email in an effort to prevent things from being said that could never be taken back. I have said this before and I will say it again, I will not get into the details of why such a move transpired. For one, the issues had nothing to do with me. Sadly, I was being pulled into the middle of an argument that had nothing to do with me. I was forced to take a side, but the reasons for that will remain personal. Second, the emails and texts that were being sent to me were for another person to read, I was getting copies for a reason I am still not sure of. They were stressing me out and they were making me angry. I also believe that they were being used as a means of creating dialogue that was going to start a fight that again had nothing to do with me. After asking a couple times to stop sending me such emails and texts and the party refusing, I decided it was time to set up an email block. I did it for me and that is okay, I have no regrets for making such a move. I will not make an apology for it either. It is not my job to be the middle person in an argument that has nothing to do with me.

I hear about people "unfriending" facebook friends all the time. Things are said, people are offended or hurt and we get rid of them. It all seems so easy when it is people we don't care about. I mean really, if you have over 400 friends on facebook, how many of them are really meaningful to you? The sad thing for me though, is the person I blocked is a person I do care about. I care about this person's opinion and value their contribution to my life. So, this was not an easy decision to make. I would bet that it is a decision that I will pay for for a very long time. I weighed that outcome for a long time before setting up that block. But, when your heart starts racing when you see who a certain email is from or you get a pit in your stomach by the subject, you know that it is time to sever that tie. So, I did.

As the years go by and we continue to use technology as our primary means of communication, the email block will probably become even more common. I hope that someday, I can repair the damage to the relationship I speak of. But, I know that for my mental health I made the right decision for me. Let this be a lesson to all of us though. Be careful what you send via email and think twice before hitting that send button. Sometimes, you do damage that cannot be undone no matter what.

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