Monday, February 7, 2011

Day 38 - Be A Mom, Not A Friend

My 12 year old daughter has been acting her age lately. For those who know 12 year olds, you know that is not good. I have always had a good relationship with her. We enjoy doing things together, talking, shopping, etc. Typical mother/daughter stuff. But lately, she has been difficult and moody. Her attitude, for lack of a better word sucks and she is letting her school work suffer. All normal stuff, the kind of stuff that I would probably be worried about if she wasn't doing it. On the flip side, I would probably be worrying that she is socially acceptable or having problems with peers. Those are not her issues, in fact she has a lot of good friendships.

This last week has proven to be a real trial. I will not get into the details, while I blog my life, some things are private. She is entitled to a little privacy. But without getting into the details of life with a 12 year old, I can say that she has been grounded to the full extent we can give her. No TV, computer, Ipod, friends, phone, life! She has lost everything and will earn things back one step at a time. This week her small treat will be to watch Glee if she is able to fulfill a few simple requirements. She of course believes her world is coming to an end, I think that she is just getting a healthy dose of reality.

There was a time when I would have given in to this behavior, and she knows it. She is trying to manipulate me every which way she can. She has not failed to pull out every trick in her book to try to get her way. It has not worked and it will not work. Slowly, she is coming around and her behavior is improving. In time, she might be fit for humans again (just kidding). I don't like it when my kids are mad at me. In the past, in order to avoid that I would give in and let her off the hook. Not this time. Things have gotten to the point to where I need to stop being her friend, I need to be her mom now. That is exactly what I am doing, she doesn't like it, but I think she understands it and wants to start working with it.

I realized that part of the change I want to make this year involves me becoming a better parent to all my kids. They have enough friends, they don't need a 39 year old woman to be their friend. All they need from me is a mother who will love and protect them. To teach them right from wrong and to lead them down the right path. If I can get this behavior under control, which I believe we are doing, I think that we will be happy with the results. We will have 3 kids who will see that we don't give in and who are willing to sacrifice them liking us in order to raise decent human beings.

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